The Geek Hierarchy

Like most geeks, I've often pondered exactly WHAT kind of geek I was. So, even though I'm sure there are hundreds of these floating around the web, I've decided to make my own list of Geekatude, and share it with you all.

First, let me define the word "Geek" and clarify the difference between "Geek" and "Nerd". A nerd is intelligent and book smart. Nerds do math and shit like that. Geeks are an entirely different world. Like nerds, we are usually pretty intelligent, but instead of reciting Shakespeare and memorizing Trigonometry, we have a vast knowledge of ridiculous/irrelevant pop-culture and pop-culture references.

GEEKS:

Common Geek: These geeks are pretty average. They game pretty often and read comics every now and then. The know a good bit about certain "geekish" things like Star Trek/Wars and Dick Tracy, and all that other good stuff. They know what the Beetle Borgs are and they can list the names of every Power Ranger. The common geek may not even look like a geek. Common geeks may include band geeks (school band members who know have a great musical aptitude), bleeks (black geeks), or geekoids, (anti-social geeks--pretty much the only geek that is ACTUALLY lame). Common geeks are pretty neat, and they have just the right amount of weirdness that makes them unique enough to be accepted as their own seperate personality.

Geek Knights: While geekoids are the lamest classification, the more intense the geek-o-meter gets, and the higher you crawl up the hierarchy, the lamer you get. The geek knight is willing to dress to meet his fantasy; whether it's squeezing into an Enterprise uniform or wearing the Medieval armor his/her mom made them. Geek Knights are somewhat fluent in Klingon, and can list every episode of The Simpsons. Geek knights use words like "hither" and "resplendent." They carry at least one die with at least 9 sides....just in case an individuals fate and destiny needs to be chosen on the spot. These geeks usually hang around hotspots called "geek-centrals." They are OK in small doses, given the fact that they are actually pretty epic, (on a comedic level.)

Geekzilla: These geeks live by the die, and die by the dice. WoW? DnD? Mere mothergooseries compared to the caverns forged by these professional losers. Balding with a pony tail and goatee, they glare through their tiger striped spectacles at the mortals that pass their Batcave of Solitude. Sporting their Yoda Vs. Spock t-shirt, and solving two Rubik's puzzle cubes at once, these geeks can recite dialogue from any moment in any science fiction movie and tell you the exact minute and second when boobs are shown on the screen. As they update their Battle star Galactica fan web site and squeeze into their Han Solo outfit, they prepare for their Ultimate Star Wars Space Chess Tournament at the Malls Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con, (Bi-monthly Science Fiction Convention.) While they are there, they buy a pair of Ertha Kitt's used panties and Farah Fawcett's hairy brush to add to their "collection." Do NOT anger this geek. They WILL be challenge you to a Trivia-off. You WILL have no choice but to dual. And you WILL be crushed and humiliated. This geek has "no time for friends" and has "sworn to remain celibate" for the greater good of mankind. Let us thank him for his bravery. Stay the course, Geekzilla....stay the course....


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